It was so nice to have an extra day off with the Labor Day holiday! I definitely needed those extra 24 hours. As you’ve noticed, things have been quiet here on the blog. Work has been incredibly busy and I’ve had several very early morning starts which doesn’t leave me with much energy in the evening to blog.
I also mentioned this on IG, but we had a tough week with a lot of meltdowns and tantrums so most nights I was emotionally at a breaking point. Harper is usually pretty good and comes out of tantrums in a reasonable amount of time, but this week was a whole new experience, watching her cry, scream and thrash like a fish out of water on the floor because she asked for yogurt and I gave her some (???) Thanks to all of my fellow toddler moms who reassured me that they too sometimes feel that their child is possessed. Somehow the Lord took mercy on me and she has had a good couple of days…and I’m praying those good days continue.
We met friends at the Houston Zoo Saturday morning and we stayed for a couple of hours until there was a rainstorm. It was really humid that day so I don’t know if we could have tolerated it any longer. Nevertheless, Harper had fun. She was a big fan of the elephants, gorillas and giraffes. The petting zoo is also always a big hit.
harper’s romper- ℅ shop stork | hair bow- free babes | my shoes: kicks USA, c/o
We spent some time with my in-laws this weekend and ordered BBQ for dinner last night. It was delicious and I hadn’t had it in forever (which is odd, since we have amazing BBQ here in Texas).
I’ll be 34 weeks pregnant in a couple of days and I’ve been feeling the effects of being further along in my third trimester, working, caring for a toddler, the summer heat and countless other things. I’ve been tired and it’s getting more difficult to be comfortable even just sitting or laying down.
This pregnancy went by so quickly. Some weeks, it felt like time was at a standstill, but now that I have just six weeks left until my due date, it seems surreal that I’ll have a second baby in my arms soon.
I’m excited and I also have lots of fears. From recovering from the actual birth to the night wakings and balancing the needs of a newborn and a toddler, I’m a little panicked at how it’s all going to go down. It’s going to be challenging to get back into “newborn mode” after the glorious year plus we’ve spent with a sleeping-through-the-night toddler, too.
If you’re a mom of two or more, I would love some of your best advice on those first few weeks and months and how you made it work or overcame challenges.
And before I go today, I want to wish my mom a happy birthday! I was looking through some old albums today and it was so fun to see a few photos from my baby and toddlerhood with my mom:
…and don’t forget that there are some awesome Labor Day sales still happening through midnight!
You can take 40% off of your purchase at GAP. I’m picking up this sleeper and this halloween onesie for baby boy. Harper is out growing most of her shoes right now and these rainboots and these cat sneaker boots are adorable. Too bad it’s still too hot to wear them here. I also love these sparkle mary-jane style shoes and these hard-soled moccassin style lace-ups.
I’m obsessed with the entire Emily + Meritt collection at Pottery Barn Teen and picked up some sheets for Harper’s eventual big girl bed (still need to find a duvet cover, but they’re a start!) Use code H14DX687Q45 for 20% off of one item!
Nordstrom has tons of markdowns now, through 9/13 including these adorable striped heels (with a bow too!), this amazing dotted scarf, this gold initial pendant, this under $30 sun hat (buy it now and use it for the rest of summer plus for upcoming vacations) and these $5 tortoise sunglasses (so no guilt if you lose them or sit on them…not that I’ve done that before…)
Happy Shopping and I hope you had a safe and happy long weekend!
I think you and Harper look SO much alike!!
Thank you! My husband always jokes that if she had brown hair she would be my twin 🙂 her hair color is a lot more fun than mine though. Hope you had a great weekend with those sweet boys of yours!
I have a toddler and a newborn and I am finding it so much easier than the first newborn. The night feeds are not such a shock to the system, and the lack of anxiety is less draining. I was so tired my last trimester that I am finding these three months less tiring in comparison. My toddler is crazy jealous and in a major tantrum phase so things are not perfect but definitely not as hard as I thought. Having my toddler in daycare 3x a week feels like my days at home with a baby are like a little holiday! You will be fine!
Thank you for your comment 🙂 We will keep Harper in daycare 4 days a week while I’m on leave so I think having her routine the same will be good for her. But yeah… the tantrums riht now are…challenging.
What is really important is to involve Haper as much as possible in caring for your son. Ask her to hand you diapers, etc when you change him, bring him his comfort toy or pacifier when he is crying, sing him songs…. So that she does not feel left out and so that she wants to be involved and feel useful. When you are nursing tell her to bring a book and cuddle next to you (or bring a baby doll to nurse, my toddler loves to nurse her dolls). She can make things for baby (coloring or crafts), help with bath time (I have my toddler carry the towels and diapers and pj’s to the bathroom for me). And it probably goes without saying to make even 15mins for just time with you alone with her, whether it is you putting her to bed or you getting her up in the am, a walk at the park (and not just daycare drop off so she doesn’ think you just spend time with her en route to leave her all day). Anyways there are going to be plenty of horrible moments when both are screaming and when both are clinging to your legs or you have to carry both at the same time but some days will be wonderful and as hour son bets older they will entertain each other or even just leave each other alone and play quietly but separtely. Mine are just 15 months apart so when my son was born my daughter was still too young to really care but once she turned 2 she went throught everything tricky about having two young kids and you will figure out how to keep her calm and how to juggle it, all the advice in the world cannot prepare you until you live it haha! Good luck!
Thank you for your comment Christina! I love your suggestions about having her be a helper with the baby. That already works for other things around the house we do now (I will ask her to help me do laundry, etc) so I can see her really enjoying being a helper and feeling good about that.
Congrats on your pregnancy! I have two girls, 5 and (almost) 3, and a 5 month old baby boy. Your readers have given some good advice with including Harper in caring for the baby.
I would add that as much as you can,you and your husband (but especially you) should still spend some one-on-one time with her, without the baby around. And, on those occasions when you are torn between a crying toddler and a crying baby, try to attend to the toddler first, because she’s the one that will remember.
Good luck!
Thank you so much for that important tip 🙂 I will have to be sure to make a bigger effort to do one-on-one things with her that make her feel special in this period of transition that’s about to come!
My two are 22 months apart. DD is almost 3 and DS is almost 1! Two was a big change, but it is manageable. I do rely on my DH 100%. Here’re a few notes:
-Divide and conquer. DH would take care of DD while I was taking care of DS. Mostly when I was BFing.
-We would tell DD that it was “HER baby brother” to keep her included. She would get really excited to know it was “her baby”.
-At first I was scared to have DD hold the baby. I had to direct her as to how she could hold the baby. I.e. Sit on sofa( or wherever you feel comfortable) and you can place the baby on her lap. Do stress that she has to be gentle with baby. And of course keep and eye just in case she is done and ready to get up.
-A backpack or over the shoulder daiperbag was great. That way you can hold the carseat in one arm and DD with the other hand. Talk about multi tasking! This is for when you are by yourself.
-We taught DD to hold our hand, my purse, the stroller, my pants (whatever) to ensure she stayed closed to us at all times. This comes in handy when you are out and about and get busy with baby.
-Survival mode when you are by yourself, have some quick snacks for DD while you may be in the middle of something with baby. You know how demanding toddlers can get.
-Set up areas for toddler and baby throughout the house. For example if you are in living room, have some some toys or books in handy to entertain DD while you may be busy with baby.
-Figure out what areas in your house you are comfortable having toddler by helself just in case you have to run to another room and get something or put baby down for a nap or whatever reason. Bonus if you leave an activity to keep her entertained.
-We taught DD to whisper. Still working on it but she does ok most of the time. My DD does love to sing at the top of her lungs. 🙂
-DD is our entertainment for baby. Sometimes she sings to baby or dances. DS loves it. We are noticing that more at this age (1 and 3)
Ok, thats enough for now. Remember two is double the fun, double the love (with some chaos sprinkled in). Be nice to yourself and realize that you can only take care of one child at a time. It’s ok if the other waits for a couple of minutes. And keep in mind that time shall pass before you know it. Good luck and congratulations!
Thank you for leaving so many great tips and advice 🙂 My H is also the most amazing partner and does a ton for our family and for Harper so I do feel a sense of calm in knowing he’s so helpful and how that will make life with two a little easier.
I am definitely going to remember all of your advice (I may have to come back to this post when I’m too sleep deprived to remember it all though, haha!) Have a great day!
Congratulations on having another little one 🙂
Thank you!
They say going from 1 to 2 kids is the toughest. Yes, there are days that are hard but it hasn’t been earthshatteringly disastrous like some had told me. Gotta love those ‘friends’ ;). My daughter was exactly 2 1/2 years old when my son was born last December and she had started into the epic floor meltdowns over minute things. Like others said, get her involved in helping. My daughter will always tell me when her brother spits up and if I say, ‘do you think you could wipe his face for me Sweetie?’, she’s more than happy to oblige. Also, if they both need something, like lunch for example, I help my daughter first. Little brother can wait a couple minutes while I whip up her lunch so she doesn’t feel like she’s being cast aside for the millionth diaper change or feeding. I try to take her on one-on-one dates too, even if it’s just to Target or Starbucks after her brother is in bed. It’s a big adjustment and you may cry at times (I did!) but sometimes all you can do is just be happy when it’s bedtime and know you can start over tomorrow 🙂
Thanks for your comment 🙂 I have read about the helping your toddler before the baby strategy and I am definitely going to do that because I don’t want her to feel ignored or frustrated. I also hope to spend individual time with her because that is so special especially as she gets older. Thanks again for your feedback 🙂
Your mom is so gorgeous! Happy birthday to her!
Aw thank you 🙂 I agree! I hope I age as well as she has
I absolutely agree with helping the toddler first. I also give her her plate at meals first because her squealing and screaming is louder than her brother’s :). I get her dressed and prepped go out first then I let her play while I prep the baby. Do you have a wrap or ring sling? Helps to get stuff done around the house when the baby needs to be held (also you can easily help toddler while baby is in a ring sling or wrap). Finally, have you thought about a double stroller? I use one all the time, shopping trips, walks, airport…. If not a double then look into a kickboard/ride a long thing that attaches to your stroller.
I actually haven’t looked into the double stroller at all yet because we don’t use our stroller much (Harper hates being in the stroller) but we do use it for places like the zoo where there’s a lot of walking. It’s something I’m looking into, though the second seat for the uppababy vista is not ideal and I think Harper would hate it 🙁 I do have an ergo carrier so I will definitely be breaking that out. The good news is that Harper will continue to go to daycare while I’m on leave and my husband will be home with me evenings and weekends so hopefully between the two of us we can manage both kiddos 🙂
Oh and I agree that for us at least 1 to 2 was wayyyyyyy harder than 0 to 1. Our first was so easy, and our son is much trickier- he is calm and patiemt but does not sleep well- we tried to do everything the same as we had done with our daughter when the reality hit that every kid is so different and what works for one might not work for the other! That was a tough lesson to learn 🙂
That is one of my biggest worries! Harper was such a great sleeper/napper and just overall a great baby (all babies are great, but you know what I mean!) Every child is so different and I am preparing myself for that reality and trying to be cognisant of the fact that things may be a total 180 this time around. What I have noticed is that this baby has a similar movement pattern to Harper when I was pregnant with her…and I’m crossing my fingers that is good news…haha…or maybe just wishful thinking…
You’ve gotten some great advice already but I thought I would throw my two cents out there! My son and daughter are 13 months apart so it was a little bit of a different adjustment for us than it will be. But with a two year old son, I’m definitely right there with you with the tantrums (sorry buddy, scream all you want but you don’t get to drive.)
I have to second the advice of making baby Harper’s. Letting her hold baby, calling baby “her” baby, helping in little ways. And also, the individual time with Harper like during naps or if baby goes to bed early. Alone time with just you AND time with you, your husband and Harper. It doesn’t have to be a long amount of time, just a few minutes did a story or playing with just her.
My biggest advice is: remember, this won’t last forever. For the good moments and the no-sleep mombie days. They don’t last forever! Every day has good in it so try to enjoy those moments when you find yourself knee deep in diapers and no sleep.
All the best to you and your family! It’s such an exciting time!
Two is fun! But definitely more than 2x the work, as the ladies above have indicated. If possible, keep your older one in daycare during the week – gives you much-needed rest and downtime. On going back to work, it will be hard, so just be kind to yourself. I’ve got two girls 3 years apart, and went back to work in mid-January this year, and I’m just now starting to feel like it’s beginning to be manageable (with baby #2 about to turn 1). It’s hard, but try to focus on the things that matter the most to you, and just let the rest go. Good luck!
Harper will be going to daycare like usual when the baby comes! I think it will be good for her to have a routine and structure in her days and it will give me time to be with the new baby and recover from birth and get established with nursing, etc. Great advice 🙂 I think going back to work will be a little easier this time around because I know what to expect and I’ve enjoyed being a working mom already. With Harper, it was a world of uknowns and it was much more difficult emotionally because I didn’t know how she would do at daycare. Now that I see how much she’s thriving, it makes my decision a lot easier 🙂
Congrats on the impending arrival of baby boy! I have been filling your blog since right before you announced your first pregnancy and I love it. We have a 23 month old and a 5 month old – both boys. Having a toddler and a newborn is exhausting but it also means twice the fun. One thing that has been really important for us is to make sure I spend some one on one time with our older son. It is really easy to always send the toddler with dad since newborns are so dependent on mom. Even though I have the baby most of the time, we always try and trade off for story time or at some point during the night. I can say that our oldest is leaps and bounds better now at almost 2 than he was at 18 months so Harper will do great. As a fellow working mom I can tell you that there are many days that feel so overwhelming but then I see our toddler try and share a toy with the baby or read him a book and it all seems worth it. Wishing you all the best!
This is really great advice! It’s so great to hear feedback from other working moms on how they balance it all 🙂 I am also really looking forward to all of the interaction they’ll have as they grow up. I always pray that they are close!
I separated from my (now ex) husband when I was 5 months pregnant with our second son. Our oldest was 2.5 at that point. The baby is now 5 months and the oldest will be 3.5 in a month. It’s been challenging raising both boys on my own but not as horrific as I anticipated. I try to keep Big Brother busy and let him “help” with the baby. He went through a short adjustment period where tantrums were awful and he’d misbehave just to get attention back on him but it lastes maybe 2 or 3 weeks. Nights are difficult and sleep is hard to come by, but I manage, even with working 44+ hours per week. It gets frustrating and overwhelming but it is manageable. You’ll surprise yourself with how quickly you will adapt and soon will forget a time when you didn’t have 2 little ones demanding your constant attention.