This part of Harper’s birth story is more difficult for me to write than Part I, because this is a story about the unexpected…I still get teary-eyed thinking about it today.
I had a wonderful birth experience and a beautiful 8 pound, 3 ounce baby who ended up being whisked away to the level II NICU about an hour or so after she was born. I feel so fortunate that I got to do some skin-to-skin bonding with her beforehand. I’ll cherish that forever.
After she was born, both she and I had spiked fevers for a brief period of time and no one knew why. The neonatal response team was called to my room and because I wasn’t group-B strep positive and didn’t have any other known infections, she had to be taken to the NICU to be started on IV antibiotics as a precaution while doctors ran 24 and 48 hour blood cultures. By the time she got to the NICU she wasn’t having any temperature spikes, so that was good news.
My husband went with her to the NICU—I wanted him to, I felt so powerless and I didn’t want our newborn to be alone. It all seemed to happen so quickly. One moment we were in this blissful state admiring our sweet baby girl and the next she was being taken to the NICU. I was still recovering from the birth and epidural and there I was alone in my labor and delivery room. I had never felt so alone in my life, ever. I remember just crying in my hospital bed alone and praying she was okay.
While Kevin was in the NICU with Harper I continued to be in a state of shock. I had a complication-free pregnancy and a healthy delivery and she had a 9 Apgar score when she was born so I thought we were in the clear. My hormones were in overdrive and all I wanted was to get out of that room and go and see our little girl but I wasn’t allowed to leave until I could walk again.
When Kevin got back to the L&D room, I asked my nurse if we could be moved to the mother/baby unit. I told her I felt fine and that I could feel my legs (that was true). She knew I was anxious, I had cried in front of her about 20 minutes prior. I asked if I could try to walk and go to the bathroom so she and Kevin helped me out of the bed. I was able to use the restroom and as I got up to wash my hands I started to feel really dizzy. Then, everyone’s voices began to sound like they were in a tunnel. I had to sit down in the wheelchair and rest for a moment. The nurse insisted that I eat before we transferred rooms. She was right. I realized I hadn’t eaten since early that morning before we went to the hospital. I felt a lot better once I ate and we were finally able to move to the mother/baby unit, though we were without our baby.
Our hospital practices family-centered care so babies room-in with parents but we couldn’t have her with us until she was cleared from the NICU. So we settled into our new room and I asked my nurse for a breast pump so I could try to express some colostrum to feed to Harper in the NICU. Fortunately our hospital is very pro-breastfeeding and they offer pasteurized donor breast milk for babies so her first feedings were of my colostrum and donor breast milk which I’m incredibly thankful for as studies show that those first feedings are so crucial for the development of baby’s intestines.
I was able to pump a syringe of colostrum and Kevin took me in a wheelchair to the NICU to visit Harper. I saw her laying there with all of the monitors and an IV and it just broke my heart—but at the same time I knew she was getting the best care and I am a “better safe than sorry” type of person so I’m glad they were being precautious. Still, it was really hard to see her like that and to know we had to go back to our room without her.
We didn’t get much sleep that night. We were both still stunned at what happened. Why did we spike fevers? Was she going to be okay? When would we see the results from her blood cultures?
The next day we returned to the NICU where I worked with a lactation consultant to feed her. She had issues with her latch from the start so I continued to pump colostrum. We got the news later that day that Harper could come back to our room and continue get her IV treatments there. Thank goodness. We just wanted to be with our baby.
Having her back in our room was wonderful. I loved being able to hold her and feed her without all of those wires. Later that evening we got the news that her billiruben levels were high and so they administered phototherapy right there in our room. I felt sad seeing our baby girl go through so much those first couple of days of life, but I was also simultaneously grateful for the care she was receiving.
Though it was hard to go through, I feel lucky that I had such a supportive partner to go through it all with. It’s totally cliche, but my husband was my rock during those first few days of Harper’s life. He still is!
After Harper’s phototherapy was complete, her pediatrician visited us in the hospital and said he thought we could go home that evening. We were elated but also worried because we hadn’t yet gotten the 48 hour blood culture results yet—but the 24 hour results came back negative so our pediatrician was confident that the fever was completely random and that there was no infection. He ended up being right—her 48 hour cultures did come back negative.
We took her home the evening of May 29th and the next morning, I woke up realizing it was my 30th birthday. My “golden year.” I couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate than to be at home as a family of three. It was such a blessing to have her home, my dream come true.
We took her to the pediatrician’s office on my birthday to have her billi levels re-checked and they were still elevated but not enough to continue phototherapy. She had also lost weight so our pediatrician wanted us to just focus on feeding her and making sure she was having enough wet and dirty diapers.
It’s been three and a half weeks now and we are all settled in at home and Harper is doing great. Even though her first few days of life were a bit stressful and full of uncertainty, I’m still happy with my birth experience because all I ever hoped for was that we would be able to take our baby home and start our life as a family, regardless of what happened on the way there.
Thank you for reading and for all of the wonderful comments and support many of you left when we were in the hospital and over the last few weeks.
I will definitely also be writing a post about postpartum recovery as I know that has been highly requested.
Happy to hear everyone is doing well 🙂 she is soo beautiful!! congrats again xoxo
J
I'm so happy to hear Veronica! I have been a long-time follower as I'm also a young professional that has taken so much fashion advice from you. Best of luck with your baby and I hope your family life continues to be as perfect as it has been so far 🙂
Glad to hear you are doing well! Looking forward to watching her grow! xoxo
I can relate so much to this post. All 4 of my babies were in the NICU for pre-term births. The boys were taken immediately, and the girls were more of a shock. I had them 1 day shy of 36 weeks. They came out healthy, crying, and had great apgars. After holding them in recovery briefly, they were taken to the NICU. One of my daughters was released to my room 3 days later (New Years Eve), but my other daughter was still in the NICU. We had to leave to go home with her sister, and she had to stay in the hospital (this happened with my boys too). It is the WORST feeling leaving without your babies. The day we went to pick up my daughter Alexis, we were literally signing her release papers, so excited she was coming home to join us, and she had what looked like a breath holding episode….right in front of us and the nurse who was discharging her from the NICU. The nurse got the doctor, who informed us that they wanted to keep an eye on her for 72 more hours before she could come home. Worst day ever. Sorry this got long! Hugs to you guys, so happy she's home, growing, happy and healthy! ~Jenn
http://www.twobytwomom.com
This story makes me so emotional! I had a very similar experience to you only I had been sent home after 24 hours and the public health nurse sent us right back to ER, where we were kept for the 48 hours waiting for the results. Yikes. What a horrific ordeal for a new mom, I know all about to crying and the worry. But thank God she is safe and healthy now and you can just enjoy her! So happy for you!!
I'm reading your story whilst I lay on my hospital bed. My water broke at 32 weeks and three days. I'm still here in the hospital hoping our baby stays in a little longer at 35 weeks which is this Sunday. It has been and is the most difficult for me and my husband. We've been told that our baby will be rushed to the NICU right away and that he will stay in the hospital at least until his original due date of July 29th.
Reading your pregnancy posts has been a wonderful way for me to stay calm and have some hope.
Thanks for sharing.
Hi Odeliza- I will keep you and you baby in my thoughts and prayers. It is a roller coaster ride when your baby is in the NICU (I know a lot of moms who had NICU babies) but they get such incredible care so they can grow and thrive. Best to you,
-Veronika
Thank you for sharing your story! I'm so happy that they took everything seriously because much like you, I like to be safe rather than sorry. You're so lucky that you got that skin to skin time after her arrival. I had an emergency c-section and she was taken away to be cleaned up while they stitched me back up so I didn't have that until I was done being operated on . I'm so happy that all turned out for the best and that you have a beautiful, happy, healthy little girl to hold every night now. It's the best feeling in the world.
Thanks for sharing!
I got a little emotional reading this because I had a similar experience. My son was immediately taken to the NICU after he was born due to breathing complications, jaundice, and a suspected cardiac complication (the latter of which fortunately turned out to be nothing, but holy hell is it terrifying to hear a doctor tell you that your newborn has two large holes in his heart). I didn't even get to see him until about 4 hours after he was born. It was heartbreaking seeing him in the isolette with wires and IVs and an oxygen mask, but once I could finally hold him for the first time it was incredible and a precious moment I will forever remember. He was released from the NICU to come home with us after a week, and came home on an apnea monitor that he was hooked up to for the first few months of his life. I have to say, that first week was the most emotional week of my entire life. I don't think I've ever cried so much or had my heart hurt so much knowing that my baby wasn't rooming with me or coming home with me. Fortunately the hospital was only 15 minutes away from us at the time, but it was still hard having to commute back and forth just to see my son when we just wanted him home with us.
As hard as it may have been when it was happening, in the end, you have your precious gift at home with you, healthy and happy, and that's all that we as parents can ask for.
I'm so glad you and Harper are doing well! Those first few days can be so scary and emotional.
I love that your hospital offers donor breast milk- what a great option! Also, great work on pumping colostrum for Harper- it is so, so good for them! I was never able to pump any, and my daughter ended up losing 1.5lbs in her first few days of life, so I'm not sure if she ever got any- makes me sad to think about.
Wow VEronica, I´ve only turned 18 6 months ago but your Story is truly inspiring! please Keep doing Posts like this and I wish you, your Family and your Baby Girl all the luck in the world!
My daughter was sent to NICU as soon as she came out of me. I was so upset that I wasn't able to spend my 4 days in the hospital with her next to me. It was all because I had an infection during labor so they wanted to make sure she was ok. Unfortunately that meant not releasing her from there until we were going home.
This made me emotional for so many different reasons! (probably my pregnancy hormones, ha)… I feel so blessed that even with a pre-term birth we were able to avoid the NICU and keep Ashlynn in our room the whole time (she just missed the weight and date cut off by an ounce and two days of being automatically admitted). We had to do Bili blanket phototherapy at home, and while it was the worst having her plugged into the wall, I had to stay at the hospital for days after my birth for jaundice while my parents were sent home, so I was thankful she was home with us. Lastly, as a breast milk donor, this made me so proud. I always felt good about donating my milk, especially since my pumping experience was scarring, seeing mom's getting use and being so thankful made all of it worth it!
I'm glad both of you were ok. It must have been so scary, I can't even imagine what you were going through 🙁
I completely understand what you have been through . I had a c-section , after trying forceps and vacuum , doctors declaring that I have a small birth canal . My son was 6 pounds and 14 oz. Using vacuum caused horrible bruises and cuts on my son's head . He went through photo therapy for 4 days . Furthermore, he did not latch either from the beginning. Hence, all the bending and getting up to check the baby, and pumping caused my incision to get infected too. It was the most difficult time of our lives . I still get goosebumps thinking about all this. However, I thank GOD that my son is in a good health now ( he is 2 years old now )
I'm so sorry that sweet little Harper had to go through so much in her first few days, but at least she is happy and healthy now! You are right – better to be safe! 🙂
I am NOT saying this to say you shouldn't have had one, but maternal fever is a known side effect of an epidural. I am not sure if this extends to the baby or not (mainly because the research hasn't been done) but for sure for the mother. This is the likely explanation if your medical team could not find another reason. I am glad little Harper is okay!
This totally brings back all the same emotions we had the day that E was born. He had the cord wrapped around his neck and wasn't able to breathe properly…I got about 2 minutes of skin-to-skin time before they whisked him off to the NICU. My husband went along as well and I just remember feeling so vulnerable and alone in that moment as well…and of course, worried sick. It didn't help that my husband came back in tears b/c he was so overwhelmed and worried from watch Ethan get hooked up to all the monitors and such. So scary. But luckily, it all worked out. So glad H is ok and healthy. And you are too!
@elicia—I only had the fever for like 10 minutes—and they do think it was the result of the shot I had to get to stop the bleeding I had because I tore in 3 places. They don't know why the baby had an elevated temp but the cord was around her neck when she was born
@natasha— Harper had the cord around her neck too but no breathing complications, I can't believe I forgot to mention that!
Thank you for sharing your story! I had a meltdown at the hospital, too, when one of the pediatricians stopped by to talk to us about our twins (they had lost slightly more than 10% of their body weight). I can totally relate to feeling helpless and overwhelmed…probably a combination of going through such a major life event, the responsibility of it all, and the pregnancy/postpartum hormones!
Your daughter is beautiful…the perfect combination of you and your husband!
Also, I went home on my birthday, too!!
Ohhh Veronika~I was getting all teary eyed as I read this post. Now that I'm a mom myself to a 5 day old I can relate even more to that pain that we can feel when we think of our little angels suffering or going through pain. You're so strong and most of all, it's a great testimony to see your attitude in such high spirits and yet so honest! Keep it up because you're doing amazing~And also, omgsh I missed sooo many of your posts!! You're looking AWEEEEESOME. 😀
Oh she is so cute :). Wish both of you the best. This post is really heart catching. And I wanna ask. Are'nt you from Slovakia or Czech? Because Veronika seems like slovak name :). Just asking.
@Julie- I was born in Slovakia
awesome :). I live here and first time I saw your photo I knew that you are from here. Because the prittiest girls are from Slovakia :))