I’ve been reading a lot of articles about blogging lately, especially on Jezebel. I always find the articles to be so interesting, especially as a blogger- I want to stay informed on what is being said about the blogging community.
Today though, I found one of the pieces compelling enough to comment on. It’s called The New Decornographers: Bloggers With Perfect, Beautiful, Craftsy Lives. The piece basically talks about how fashion, design & home and crafting blogs make a lot of people feel like they don’t measure up or that their lives aren’t good enough. If you read the piece and its comments, you’ll notice a lot of commenters saying blogs make them feel bad (especially about their weddings) while others praise blogs for the inspiration they provide. I am in the latter category.
Having said that, last year, I saw author Brene Brown speak at an event called The UP Experience. She wrote the book I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Telling the Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power
. During her lecture, she talked about how a lot of women feel like failures because their homes don’t look like Pottery Barn catalogs. I thought her Pottery Barn example was pretty spot-on. I love Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel and West Elm catalogs…but sometimes they do make you feel a little bit like you don’t have enough or that your home could be better. Even if you think it for a split second, the thought is there. I always feel fortunate for the fact that we even have a home so sometimes I feel guilty for thinking there is always more to improve. Can we ever truly be happy with all of that beautiful inspiration floating around out there? Does seeing a blog sometimes make you wish you could have the clothing item or decor item posted in that blog?
. During her lecture, she talked about how a lot of women feel like failures because their homes don’t look like Pottery Barn catalogs. I thought her Pottery Barn example was pretty spot-on. I love Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel and West Elm catalogs…but sometimes they do make you feel a little bit like you don’t have enough or that your home could be better. Even if you think it for a split second, the thought is there. I always feel fortunate for the fact that we even have a home so sometimes I feel guilty for thinking there is always more to improve. Can we ever truly be happy with all of that beautiful inspiration floating around out there? Does seeing a blog sometimes make you wish you could have the clothing item or decor item posted in that blog? 
I often see girls on YouTube commenting on “Haul” videos that they are so jealous and that they wish they could afford to shop so much and even quite hateful comments telling the haulers that they are “showing off” or that they are horrible for making haul videos because “most people can’t afford the items they buy.” There is a good article about “Haul Videos” here. A must-read if you love YouTube beauty guru videos.
YouTube’s JuicyStar07
My love for blogging started when I was planning my wedding and watching YouTube beauty guru videos. I scoured blogs sometimes for a few hours at a time to find ideas and inspiration for my wedding. I still have a file on my computer with about 15 sub folders (wedding hair, wedding makeup, flowers, accessories, must have shots…etc)
When I discovered blogs like The Chloe Conspiracy or Cupcakes and Cashmere, I would spend hours going back through their archives because there was just so much to take in and be inspired by. Sometimes, for me, discovering a new blog can be downright exhilirating (like when I discovered Style Me Pretty, Southern Weddings and Jasmine Star’s Photography Blog.)
I think humans love to see beautiful things. Beautiful decor, art, clothing, makeup, photographs…It’s like when someone really attractive walks into a room- you can’t help but look at them or notice them (or even stare!)
With blogs, you can see all of this beauty from the comfort of your own home, and a right click “save as” is all it takes to forever capture that inspiration into your computer’s hard-drive. I have different “inspiration” photos for everything on my computer. Home decor, hair, makeup, weddings (I refuse to delete them even though we are nearing our first anniversary.) There’s something about those beautiful images that comforts me. Somehow, deleting them seems…wrong. Like I’m throwing away something valuable.
I don’t know where I’m really going with this. I guess I’m hoping to engage in a discussion with you all about blogs and how they make you feel.
Do beautiful design blogs make your home feel inadequate? Does reading a fashion blog make you want to change your wardrobe or make you feel like you don’t have fashionable clothing?
For me, blogs are about feeling inspired. Sure, sometimes Chole wears something that I would totally LOVE to have myself…but unless it’s affordable, I can usually just appreciate and admire how she’s styled the outfit without feeling like I absolutely MUST have it.
It makes me sad sometimes to think that some women (or young girls) might feel inadequate from reading blogs. It makes me even sadder when women regret doing (or not doing) certain things at their weddings because of the downright stunning weddings showcased on so many popular wedding blogs. Images that look like they belong in magazines.
So- what do you think? Do beautiful blogs inspire you or make you feel inadequate? Please feel free to share your comments below, I’m interested in what you have to say after reading the comments in the Jezebel piece.
Here’s a sampling of some of the most interesting comments from Jezebel:
Federov: These sites always make me feel like I’m back in kindergarten, glue in my hair and glitter stuck to every area of exposed skin, the only one in class still unable to get my snowflake to look pretty like the others.
hambonetoblerone: I got married a couple of years ago, and ever since I have found wedding blogs (or any photographic evidence that weddings exist, period) totally unbearable. It’s like everything I see, I kick myself for not incorporating into my wedding, and so everything I see diminishes my memory, and it suuuuucks. What’s so stupid is that I really didn’t care before, and it’s only been after the fact that I was like, “Why didn’t I do more updo research?!” I would love to be able to appreciate what other people do and not have it bear any reflection on my own $8,000 wedding (for 300 people, so put that into perspective). What makes me so mad is that right after our wedding, my husband and I were so happy, like “Best wedding EVER! Suck it!” I just want to recapture that, but images of perfect people keep grinding in how much I failed. I’m really mad at myself for this, so if anyone has experienced something similar, I’d love to hear about how you got over it, because I really want to be able to enjoy a wedding again. Because weddings can be seriously sweet parties.
itsonreserve: The wedding ones always make me feel the worst. I’m not even engaged or thinking about marriage, but I will start in the design blogosphere and then click links to something and spend hours on Once Wed looking at weddings with blue grass bands, breaking into a cold sweat about how hard it must be to feed 100 people.Oh Happy Day always makes me feel terrible too. I can hardly get my friends to come over for board games on a Saturday with the promise of beer, and she’s sending out toy boats with balloons as invitations to a kid’s birthday party. Le sigh.
Penny: Blogs do make me feel bad about myself. Way more than fashion magazines. Especially because I started blogging about a year ago and I see a few who have totally taken off within the same (or less) time. It’s incredibly inspiring but also bums me out sometimes.
What do you think?
Thank you, as always, for reading 🙂 I appreciate each and every one of you, and I really value your comments.
xoxo,
Veronika.
This is a great post Veronika! I have definitely experienced both ranges of emotion, but I tend to fall into the latter group as well. Most of the time I feel inspired when reading blogs. They give me tons of ideas and I start thinking about things or seeing things in a new light. I love hearing about a great store or a new designer, or just seeing how other stylish girls decorate and dress. Once in a great while I get jealous because maybe I can't afford everything that someone else purchases, or my hair isn't as fabulous or my home as large…but usually that quickly fades because I really am so grateful for what I do have!! Again, great post. Very thought-provoking.
Veronika, I love this post! Its super interesting! I can definitely see why some people can maybe feel inadequate? But then me personally, I feel inspired because I've learned a lot from some of the blogs I've read. I think its all about being thankful for who you are and what you have. Everybody brings something special to the table! And I think if reading a certain blog makes someone feel bad then they should probably just stay away from it because at that point its no longer fun. When I see some of these fashion blogs with all these crazy designers, I think it makes me want to know more about that person – like, what does this person DO for a living? lol. But, I think blogging is just like anything else in life.. there is always going to be someone prettier, someone with better style, someone who is funnier, someone who has more money or a bigger house… its just life!
Yes, sometimes I do feel a little sad that my blog has not done as well as others in the same time. But them I think about how lucky I really am. I know it sounds like a total cliche, but it's absolutely true. I mean to have even 5 people follow you, when you put it into perspective, it's 5 people who don't know you, that want to read your blog, amazing in my opinion! Blogs have definitely opened up a new world to me and in a good way. They provide inspiration and happiness. I know that those who have a large amount of followers have worked hard to get there, and if I work hard too, I will get there someday! 🙂
Wow, what a thought-provoking topic! I would have to say I'm more of an "inspired" person, but that's not to say that I don't sometimes feel overwhelmed by all the inspiring and beautiful ideas I find on blogs. So, even though I'm inspired, at times I'm like, "When will I have time to do all these amazing projects?!"
I love looking at wedding blogs too. I might get a pang of regret when I stumble upon a really unique idea, but mostly I just love the gorgeous photos!
I think for the most part reading blogs and having a glimpse into others lives makes me feel inspired.
I read all sorts of different blogs for different reasons, but as far as fashion and home decor, I read them because I *WANT* to be inspired. I want to get ideas and learn what has and has not worked for other people.
I think a lot of women feel the need to have it all, and the truth is that we can have it all – just not all at once!
I try not to compare myself with others, because there will always be someone who has more than me and someone who has less then me. The minute I started feeling bad about myself because of blogs I read you better believe I'll stop reading them.
I myself wanted to start a blog for a LONG time but always talked myself out of it because I was sure no one would WANT or CARE to read it, but finally I did it, I did it for ME. I'm so glad that I started it, sure I don't have a lot of followers yet, but I've already inspired MYSELF so hopefully I can inspire others too in the future!
http://www.tamara-camera.blogspot.com
This is a great post! I absolutely look at blogs as a source of inspiration. I love to peruse home decor blogs and save inspiring images, I definitely have a better understand of what my own personal style is from reading blogs.
Do I get jealous of the beautiful homes and spacious closets of some of my fellow bloggers? Yeah sometimes I do. But then I think about how I have spent the last 7 years in school, and that I now have two degrees under my belt, and that I am now just starting to get established with my career. I know that in the next year or so I will be able to afford a nicer home, more clothes, etc. For right now though, I am happy to live vicariously through blogging, and happily collect inspirational images along the way!
This is a super interesting topic. I have never thought of this before but I can see the truth in this side effect of reading blogs. I personally don't constantly feel inadequate because of a blog but of course I have had the thought that "man I wish I could spend that much money" or "geez that house is gorgeous" but I think it comes down to confidence and how one thinks of themselves. In our society, like MsHark said, someone is always richer, prettier, thinner, and overall better than we are but we have to happy with what we are and who we have become.
I agree with Hope–the fact that I have 57 amazing people reading my blog is spectacular, especially since I don't know the majority of them. I have to look at it that way and not be bummed that I don't have thousands like some others. It's all about perspective.
Great topic V!
I find myself usually in the latter category as well. The whole reason I became involved in the blogging community in the first place was because I was so inspired by the others I had come across. I do think there is a huge amount of beautiful images and inspiration out there and think it's great it is all so easily shared these days.
Sometimes I do feel a twinge, like oooh, I should pay more attention to my decor in this room or that room, but overall, I don't feel pressured by the blogs I read at all. I think a lot of the comes because I make the best decisions for my family, financially and otherwise. So I know at the end of the day, I am doing the right thing for us and that's what really matters!
Great post!
xoxo
Ladies- thank you SO much for your comments, I am watching my inbox as they come in because I am truly loving that everyone is sharing their thoughts on this topic. I am so thankful we can all be open about this topic. Thank you so much for what each and every one of YOU contribute to this blog!
It depends on the tone of the particular blog for me. Most of the time I find them inspiring- that is why I seek them out for tips and tricks ect.
I am only bothered when I find a blog or message board and am made to feel inadequate b/c I can't do something. Like going on a fashion/beauty site and seeing snide remarks about, say, jeans from JC Penny. I don't see the point- some people still want to keep themselves together and can't shop Nordstrom for everything.
cassie- I know how you feel. I have been made fun of for featuring items from Target and Forever 21 on my blog…but I don't take the comments seriously because fashion isn't about brands, it's about putting together an outfit and mixing expensive with inexpensive (or in many cases, the entire outfit is inexpensive!)
Most blog authors post the "highlights" of their life, which I assume can make people feel inadequate. For instance, if you had a total outfit fail, you probably wouldn't post it. And if I have a home project fail, I'm probably not going to post it. A blog is such a great motivational tool for the author (we have an audience to please!), so we want to always showcase our best, to inspire our readers and share passion.
That said, I think it takes a certain type of person to get jealous from inspiration pictures or haul videos. I don't get jealous when I see other bloggers beautiful giant homes or gorgeous, put together outfits. It's inspiration, yes. But most times, copying a certain style is not my thing.
Leslie- I guess that's where I'm different. I have posted outfits I didn't care for before (and said so in the post)..I also posted when I got my speeding ticket etc! I just think it's good to sometimes show that not every outfit is great and not every day is wonderful and filled with pretty things! I usually focus on the positive, but I think in order to be real and relatable, it's good to post the bad too.
The grass is always greener on the other side, that seems to be the general consensus when we tend to peek into other people's lives.
When we look at other people's weddings, homes, lives in general we are not seeing the whole picture; we don't necessarily know how much money, time or stress that went into that particular endeavour that we are admiring.
Personally I think that we should only read blogs if we enjoy them, and use them as inspiration, why would we choose to read something that makes us feel inadequate?
There are so many great ideas floating around out there, and blogs are a great way to share ideas, advice, feelings and whatever else. It is a great way to connect with like minded people.
xo
Jamie
great points Jamie 🙂 thanks for commenting! You are lovely and insightful as always!
This is a great post/conversation.
I'm also inspired by all of the blogs I follow. I don't blog myself, but I definitely admire you all that do and have to deal with the negative comments at times!
My feeling is that if a blog makes you feel inadequate, stop reading it:) I never feel jealous or bad about not having every designer item that someone else may be able to afford. Of course I may want it, but we all have different budgets. It's kind of exciting to me when I see Chloe or Amber wear some awesome $700 shoes that I could never buy…I just like seeing how they style things like that in real life.
I can see how it could be difficult for some people to see fabulous weddings, homes etc. on a blog. I guess the point is you can't "have it all"! You just have to be happy with what you do have and don't read the blogs that make you feel bad:)
Very very interesting topic indeed. One I hadn't even thought about before! I agree with a lot of the other sentiments. The only blog I have ever been to where i felt a teensy twinge of envy was emily's blog cupcakes and cashmere, but she is a total sweetheart and her blog has always inspired me. Most of the time i just enjoy peeking into other's lives and connecting with people who have similar interests. I love how you have folders set up on your computer for various inspirational finds. I have done that too, but not really extensively. I should though!
Wow! This is very interesting! As someone who just very recently got into blogs, I never really thought about those things. Thanks for always keeping it interesting! 🙂
What a great post Veronika, thank you so much for bringing this discussion up. I personally feel as you do – that blogs serve as sources of inspiration for me. I love reading others thoughts, opinions, and passions. Sure I wish I could afford some of the things that other bloggers can (Chloe is a great example). But it really doesn't metter because I can still take those ideas and re-create them for myself at a much more affordable price. I blog about beauty and fashion because I love these things. Sometimes I toy with the idea of actually getting another degree in fashion merchandising because I love it so much! Anyhow, I see why some may get a little jealous, but that's life right? I always say, if you don't like what a particular blogger is writing about, then just don't read. But there is no room for negativity.
This is a great topic, and I can completely see both sides of it. Sometimes I'll stumble upon a blog and start reading about all the fabulous clothes, makeup, etc that the person bought and it will make me want to get rid of all of my stuff and start over. But then I really think about it and I'm happy with the way I am and the clothes I wear. I personally think it would be considered more admiration than jealousy – everyone always wants something that they can't have.
Great topic Veronica! For me the reason I started blogging was to get inspired in different ways. I enjoy reading blogs about make up ideas, outfit ideas, home décor, etc. I’m still new to blogging and decided to give it a try, so I just started my own blog couple weeks ago (still a lot to learn lol)
There are so many beautiful, creative and inspirational women in the blogging world and I get inspired by them, so I’m thankful to each one that spends time keeping up a blog, a positive blog.
I do come across blogs with beautiful huge homes, fancy this, fancy that, but at the end of it I’m thankful for what I have, not lacking anything and yet very happy (nothing wrong with big homes and fancy things). Happines is not defined by what we owe, or what we wear. Not everyone can have everything but in a sense we do have everything we need, maybe just not everything we want. One quote (I think it is a quote) that I’ve heard many years ago comes to my mind a lot; “People buy things they don’t need, with the money they don’t have, to impress people they don’t like.” I’ve lived in 5 countries (long story)and have seen very much of that, sadly.
So we all need to be happy with what we have and not let anything or anyone get us down in any way. 🙂
Hi again Veronika,
the shoes were actually purchased at an inexpensive boutique by my school. The store is very, very similar to Forever 21 though. In fact, I think I saw these at Forever 21 a couple of months ago!
Great topic, I agree! I think like the others, I can say both. There are days where I look in my closet and think, "If I only had more designer stuff more people would follow me…" but I forget that I do have a lot of pretty things and it really doesn't matter the price or name, mostly just what you do with it. I'm no brand snob– I buy a ton from F21, target, Kohls… but I also love Intermix and Shopbop too. Gotta remind ourselves its not about "keeping up with the Jonses." On the flip side, without the blog world, I would never have gotten as many ideas for my outfits or even felt compelled to try something new and fun! And a lot of bloggers have helped me figure out how to refine my style. It goes both ways, I guess. 🙂
Good post Veronika. Frankly I read blogs because I like to see beautiful pictures, see outfit posts and be nosey. I have been inspired in some cases to style something one way or another or find crafty ideas, but not too often. I find it a little disheartening that ally of people are worried about how many followers they have. I mean c'mon, since when is blogging a popularity contest?
A sure way to get them is to do an awesome giveaway and make them follow you. I don't want to go that route. Sure it's also another way to thank you readers by giving them an oppurtunitu to win something, but like I said the real reason people do it is to get followers.
Me, I blog for myself and as a way to share some ideas,style tips, and to keep some distant friends updated with what's going on with me. I don't paint just a pretty picture. Sure I have many blessings in my life and it's a good life but I also share my most deepest sorrow and touch on that subject.
see. My blog made you want that bronzer.
It's true! lol. I kid.
I really don't feel inaqequate from others blogs. If I see something I like it's more of an inspiration. Like say decor…since our house is brand new we have a way to go with buying decor stuff and things of that matter so rather than being jealous I get ideas.
In reference to more personal belongings. I feel like if I really really want something I will get it. I will find a way. However, only if it is within reason. I'm not going to get my heart set on a 2k pear of shoes but most things I feel if I really want them with time it can be done so instead of getting jealous that is how I view it.
I really do tend to follow more realistic or mixed blogs. Not blogs full of luxury items that most people could not afford.
I love blogs. They inspire me. If I see something that I want/like, I save it because even if I can't have it now, I can work my way to having it.
I love the inspiration that it gives me.
I love your blog, Veronika!
Thanks for the shout out, doll! And I have to say that blogging is a really interesting thing, and something I've been thinking about a lot lately as my blog grows- it's hard for even me to not read certain blogs and feel a bit inadequate (I mean, some of those interior decorating blogs? Yeah. My interior design skills are about as advanced as buying new $20 throw pillows from Target once a year and calling it good- not kidding! I don't have it in me!) but it's always important, I think, to remember that we're only getting one-side of the story. I try the best I can to be honest with everything I blog about, but most of my readers unfortunately don't know me in real life, so they're just getting things as I see it. It's not the whole picture.
In other words- my $700 pair of shoes? Well, I'm married to a man that is a business owner and an extreeeme workaholic. I haven't been on a fun vacation with just him in four years! The last time was our honeymoon! So those shoes, that purse- those are my "vacations". I'd trade any of them for time with him on a remote beach somewhere, but unfortunately it's just not in the cards right now. Or…anytime soon.
*sighs*
(See? I'm definitely not complaining, as I knew what I had signed up for before we married and I'm thankful for how incredibly hard he works, but the grass is always greener hm?)
*And I'm glad I finally found your blog! For some reason, I could never get to it on Disqus, grr.)
Such a great post Veronika! I stumbled into the beauty blogging world while looking online to find swatches. Once I discovered the beauty blogging world, I got so excited! People were as obsessed as I was about makeup and clothes and decor, etc, etc! I loved finding that similarity with other people and I have loved all the inspiration and insider information about different brands and the color of the season etc, that comes from engaging in blogging.
I have to be honest though, and say that there have been times where I felt inadequate instead of inspired. Those times don't come along for me very often and when they do they certainly don't stick around long–but they happen all the same and most definitely aren't fun:( It all stems from my own insecurities though, and these are things I've dealt with over the course of my life and didn't suddenly appear when I found the beauty blog world. So, I don't feel any sort of resentment when I feel down about myself, my style, my artistry, my tendency to be a shopaholic…I can just recognize that my feelings start with something internal and that's also where they have to be dealt with.
The one thing that I can say does bother me is what someone mentioned above–when people are SO FOCUSED on designer labels and name tags and high end price points, and talk about anything less expensive like its always cheap/tacky/whatever. The feelings I have then aren't feelings of inadequacy but irritation and frustration. Labels, branding, marketing–its all so misleading at the end of the day. When you really start to research products and their origins, 9 times out of 10 you discover that your designer label jeans were manufactured in the exact same place as wal-mart brand jeans–the only difference ends up being the brand name and price point. So, I hate that other people, especially young girls will be deceived into thinking that expensive=quality/inexpensive=junk. Sometimes that may hold true, but I think more often than not its a lie promoted buy companies for profit and embraced by consumers with inadequacy issues of their own.
Okay, this is such a novel and it probably doesn't make any sense bc I'm so sleepy and am typing gibberish. But this was something I felt pretty passionate about and wanted to put out there. This community is such a fun and inspiring place for the most part and I hope everyone, myself included, can experience the joy of inspiration and ignore the blogs/bloggers that don't bring out the positive:)
PS–I just also wanted to note that I don't necessarily think all inexpensive items are the bomb diggity either–its just that often items at lower price points are really fabulous but get overlooked by people more concerned with image:)
There will always be people who are insecure with themselves. It doesn't matter what the medium is, magazines, television shows, blogs, etc. Some people are going to feel bad about themselves. Period. Jealousy comes from within.
That doesn't mean a magazine shouldn't print the beautiful expensive clothes, just because most people can't afford them. Those clothes inspire the clothes that regular people do buy. If we were to take them out of site because they are too expensive, what would we be wearing?
Blogs definitely inspire me. I also have folders on my computer where I save pictures for inspiration. Whether it's a home decor blog, a fashion blog, or whatever I read them because they make me happy. I'm in such a good mood when I'm on blogs, it doesn't matter to me that I can't afford everything I see. I think if blogs are making you feel that bad, don't read them.
FJ- I do disagree with you a bit on the contest thing. I am being completely honest when I say this. I never expected to have so many amazing subscribers. The real reason I do my contests is to thank them. I never really saw it as a way to get followers (the reason I say you have to be a follower is because I want loytal subscirbers to enter the contest and have a chance to win.)
I know the outcome is often a few more subcribers, but honestly, I am so humbled by all of the amazing ladies who read my blog, that ultimately, I just want to thank them for contributing and for reading.
love this post! well written! They don't make me feel inadequate. Most are not reality, especially those Pottery Barn catalogues or like that home decor shot you posted. I want to put my feet on my coffee table!! Not worry about knocking over some glass fixtures. I live in the real world, not blogosphere. Picture perfect women I see on blogs at times, no thank you, I don't want to spend hours a day to look like that either – I sit at a desk and it would be a waste of time. When I need to look hot, I make the effort, but that's not a day to day necessity for me. I do find a lot of inspiration for my wedding, and I make it work for me not try to live to another ideal. Thanks for this! It actually made me feel better about myself 🙂
sweet tea- thanks for your honest and touching answer.
Chloe- glad you found me and thanks for your comment! I agree that clothes and shopping can be a "vacation" type feeling…My husband and I can't get away a lot because he has 20 vacation days..and I only get 5…so sometimes shopping is kind of a little escape for me.
Thanks again for commenting 🙂
andi- good point! I agree that expensive fashion doesn't make me feel bad because I can't afford it, it makes me determined to find something similarly stylish for a fraction of the cost 🙂
mander- thanks for your comment and your honesty! I'm glad this post make you feel better about the subject and I think your realistic attitude is admirable! You're right- being perfect or trying to be, is no fun at all. Sure, when I take pics of my home I clean it all up…but right now my closet and bedroom are a MESS! I just don't show that part of it (though I have shown messy closet befores and afters)
Agree – this post is awesome!!! It couldn't be more spot on with what I've actually been thinking about lately. When I first stumbled upon the blog world I was nothing BUT inspired at all times and I couldn't wait to log on and see new posts, etc. When I decided to start my own blog I was very excited as well but I'll be honest by inspiration started to slowly but surely fade into feelings of inadquacy, definitely. I mean I know how to separate reality from falacy in my own personal life and for me – having a house resemble a pottery barn catalog page is not reasonable nor is sporting a Louis Vuitton bag and YSL pumps. I have to consistently remind myself each time I start to feel those feelings of inadequacy of jealousy that I WILL get there one day and that's when it turns to inspiration – that's when it not only inspires me to redecorate or try a new scarf but inspires me to live better, work harder and dream bigger.
May sound corny, but its so true. I think being reminded that there are "real" people out there living your dream life (aka shopping at Pottery Barn and rocking Louboutin's) hahaha…it makes you work that much harder!
Great post Veronika…you are a great blogger and I surely envy your 'blog success' but I will get there one day too! You are an inspiration for many of us I'm sure.
I never really comment here, but this is a really interesting topic and something I think about a lot. I'm clearly in the minority here, but a lot of the time I do find myself a little jealous of bloggers. Even you! For example, every single Monday you have a post on clothes and things you bought that weekend. I mean, I only WISH I could go shopping every weekend, but the truth is, right now I can only afford to buy things for myself once in a blue moon. So I find myself looking at your beautiful new purchases and wishing I had the money to spend my Saturdays shopping without a care in the world. But I can't.
But there's another topic that I feel hasn't really been addressed. I'm planning a wedding and am a member on the Knot and the Nest. I read blogs of people both planning weddings and newlyweds and also I frequent the boards there. What I've found over the last year– and I will freely admit that this is a little nuts– is that it makes me look at my relationship and my fiance in a way that I didn't before. I know that I'm only getting one side of the story, but it always feels to me like these people have such perfect relationships and perfect fiances or husbands and they never fight and life is just blissful all.the.time.
And I know that can't be true, but it gets to me sometimes. Like I said, I seem to be in the minority, but I wanted to be honest about how I feel. And I certainly don't harbor any ill-will towards these people, but I do think a little jealousy is only human.
anon- thank you for your honest and very touching comment. I thank you for being so open. You know, in the blogging world, like I said, people's lives seem perfect…because they only show the best parts of it. You don't see people talk about their problems a lot of the time. You just have to know it's not real…it's just a small percentage of their lives.
You know, I've been criticized before for being shallow and "empty" by people who don't even know me…they base it on the fact that I write a F&B blog, so "that's all I must care about." You see, people only see a small percentage of your life…they don't see you at work or in your relationships with family and friends. Thanks for sharing your thoughts 🙂
Hope you didn't mean I meant you. 😉 I said some people have them just to get followers.
FJ- oh I totally know it was a general statement 🙂 don't worry, I take no offense, just wanted to share my thoughts on the topic!
I have gotten into blogging mainly to get things out of my head and somewhat organized, if someone finds what I have to share helpful or interesting even better!
I enjoy reading blogs; when I was in college I was surrounded by friends to bounce fashion and beauty ideas off of and I learned alot from them. Now that I am married and have a full time job I don't get to connect with my friends as much as I would like so I have found that I can keep connected with fashion and get inspiraton from blogs.
I was just listening to a radio show that was talking about Jezebel and blogging yesterday. I agree with you that reading other blogs have inspired me and opened my eyes to so much! It's so interesting to me to see how people in other parts of the country live, the trends they wear, etc. If people don't agree with your blog, they can always choose to not read it. From starting my blog, I've really had a great time writing and reading what others people post.
I agree with others who say, and try to remind myself, that we are only seeing what the blogger wants to share, and that isn't always the whole picture. I admit sometimes I wish we had more money so I could do more with our house or have fun shopping without worrying, but reminding myself of all the great things in life I have helps.
I enjoy your blog because you DO feature items that are accessible to me – like Target and F-21. I think being able to create or duplicate an expensive look through creativity at cheaper stores inspires me.
I have a design background and the catch-22 is that I don't get paid enough to afford the things I love! (i.e. Room and Board and Design Within Reach for the home, and the list of clothing places is to long to name here!)
There are times that I'm a little bummed that my blog isn't doing as well as others but then I remember that I did it as a way to keep up with what goes on in our lives & it's really just for me. Of course there are houses & things that I love & envy a little but I don't get upset about it. I just LOVE looking & finding things I can incorporate into my own home. I don't understand why these people continue to read blogs that make them feel so awful.
traci- i just noticed you had a blog! glad to have clicked on your username 🙂
It's not as interesting as yours but it's there!!!!
traci- I think your background is super cute but the font is hard to read over it! Is there a way to make the center white? 🙂 just a suggestion! sometimes I love a blog but it will be hard for me to read it because of the font and background color.
I love blogs, I follow a kazillion on google reader. When I can't read every post on each one it makes me kinda sad. I find them extremely inspiring in so many ways.
I simply don't understand the women who say that wedding blogs make them regret their weddings. My wedding bugdet was about $200 including my dress and the reception. My 14 year old sister in law did my hair and make up. My dress was $28. My mother in law did the flowers, decorations, and photography. Our ceremony was on the beach, for free, and lasted maybe 15 minutes. Our reception was held in a small reception hall at my MIL's subdivision, you know those small places for birthday parties, funerals, ect. That was free as well. I have pictures with my bra peaking out.
It was probably the furthest thing from a conventionally beautiful wedding, but I loved it! I still love it! I've never felt more beautiful! And I've never had a more perfect day… I married the man of my dreams, and that is what made it perfect. No amount of wedding pictures/blogs/ideas could ever make me regret that day. Sure I find things that I wish I could have done, but I never regret not doing them.
I truly think these women are too focused on the superficial instead of what truly makes a wedding a beautiful occasion.
Veronika – so funny you mentioned that. I've been working on changing the layout because I was getting tired of looking at the red & wanted something springy!! It's changed now & easier to read. Thanks for the suggestion.
traci- it's sooo much easier to read now! :)love the new template.
Wow – Very interesting and so much feedback!
I can certainly understand people feeling inadequate or envious of others. There are certainly things I see that I wish I had or could afford to buy, but that's like anything in everyday life.
All we can do is be the best person we can be. We also need to remember that the way things seem, may not reflect the way things really are. Someone could have beautiful clothing but be suffering from a disease and we would never know because they look, 'normal' on the outside.
Sometimes I will catch myself with blog-envy or a great pair of shoes someone is wearing, and I'll stop myself and remember that I have a really great life and I shouldn't let someone else's great life over-shawdow my own. I can only be the best I want to be, and in order to do that, you must be happy for others successes AND your own.
I will leave you with this great quote:
"The happiest people do not neccessarily have the best of everything. They simply appreciate what they find along the way."
A.Co @ A.Co est. 1984
I never really thought about it. Your post bring up some valid points, for both sides really. I guess I for the most part feel inspired but sometimes you do get discouraged by the "perfectness" of other bloggers. Yet, I don't see this is a blogging phenomenon as much as a human phenomenon. People always tend to want to be perfect, and if it's not the blogger who seems perfect then it's the neighbor or a co-worker.
good point, Carina. I think as humans, it's natural to compare ourselves to our over-achieving sibling, neighbor or co worker. You always wonder how you "measure up" I think it's important to remember that everyone is unique and has their own talents and abilities…so maybe you're not a great cook (like me, I suck) but you can quilt or are great at graphic design. There's lots of things I wish I could do better, but I also appreciate the things I'm great at, and feel blessed to be great at something, anything 🙂
Good point Veronika in your most recent comment! By the way, do you have a Twitter? I think you should consider getting one, it would be fun reading some of your fleeting, day to day thoughts and it would be a great place to link to stuff you bought, or articles you've read and want to share! Just an idea 🙂
Blogs in general don't make me feel inadequate. I find many blogs inspiring and many have challenged me into trying new things: cooking a great meal from a cooking blog, redesigning a room with ideas from a decorating blog, scoring a great shirt I saw on a fashion blog and taking amazing pictures based off the ones I see on photography blogs. The thing is when I accomplish these things, I don't feel the need to run online and tell the world that I did it. Do I dislike the people that DO blog? Absolutely not! Is blogging about my accomplishments (be it cooking, shopping, photography, home design) for me? No, it's not.
Good posting!
First, I don't let blogs make me feel inadequate. I am a broke college student, and I love seeing what everyone is wearing! I don't have the luxury of being able to buy a lot of the items I love, but I am pretty good about putting into perspective my life and where I am. I don't judge bloggers, and I appreciate them putting themselves out there to allow people like me be inspired and educated on fashion, beauty, and decor.
Also, I noticed that you commented something about being criticized about putting on items from Target and Forever21? Personally, I LOVE that you have items from these stores. When I feel like I want to add something to my wardrobe, I can actually afford it! : ) I really appreciate that you acknowledge the fact that it's not about price… it's about putting together an outfit. Sure, sometimes you get what you pay for–but shopping at all types of stores, not just high end, is something that I appreciate : )
As an adult that is pretty happy with her life, I agree with you. I like to see the things people blog about because it gives me ideas. How a blog is received depends entirely on the person reading it.
I am on the opposite side of the fence when it comes to Hauls though. Hauls to me were established to tell people hey look what i can afford! Since there is a growing number of young women watching/reading about these, I worry about the message of materialism it is sending. There is a hilarious video about this I found on youtube a long time ago…
jamnotjelly- I very much disagree with haul videos being "show off" videos. Yes you are showing what you bought, but I think of my haul posts (I don't make videos) as showing people what I got, how I saved money (coupons) and showing people they ca be stylish for less!
I never think of my hauls as "showing off." How is a haul different from Outfit of the Day posts? Obviously if you post pictures of yourself in different outfits everyday, you are buying those items. Just because you don't make a haul post, you are still shopping and buying a lot of things, and then showing them to readers of you blog. I see it more as trying to inspire people and show them that they can be stylish while not breaking the bank. I guess some people see it differently, and that's OK, I respect that, but I never think to post things I bought to be like "look how much I spent." I just love to share what I buy because I LOVE when I get a good deal and I'm able to pass on that tip to my readers 🙂
Normally I like Jezebel posts but I found this a bit way off. I follow lots of decorating blogs around the world and it's great to see the things people do (my place is modest but that's not the point). I enjoy the effort people put in to their blogs in presenting it to the world and most decor blogs are in fact calming and meditative in a mad day of work. I don't see why one has to feel inadequate about it, something is wrong with a culture if anything and everything makes one feel inadequate (does one for e.g. feel inadequate not being a Jezebel writer and so on). The snarky comments at the site only made me wonder as to the posters not the blogs.
I do get a little jealous of the blogs with tons of followers and the bloggers who get a lot of promotional freebies, but I don't think blogs make me feel inadequate. Blogging and reading blogs is part of my entertainment, but that is as far as it goes.
Rebecca- there are a ton of bloggers and YouTubers with thousands, tens of thousands and hundreds of thousands of subscribers- but think about how much time they have to put into it to keep up with the demand. Even just blogging can take a lot of time from taking pictures, editing them, posting, hyperlinking everything. I love to blog but it does take time. I think YouTube girls have to take even more time because they have to film, edit, add music to their videos, upload to YouTube etc. The people who are really big on YouTube pretty much make their videos a huge part of their daily lives, and I guess the payoff is a lot of subscribers…but they have to commit a lot of themselves to get to that level.
hi veronika,
i'm so glad you blogged about this topic. it's almost like blogging is the new face of magazines. what's very unique and interesting is that they are sort of like a free press for those who are willing to do a little searching about it. i definitely see it as more of a tool for inspiration, but yes, like many people, sometimes i do feel like my home isn't arranged properly [because i just picked up a crate & barrel mag and saw a perfectly canvassed living room with fluffed pillows and furniture in colors to match with the season. i love that you gave me some insight on how i actually see it. thank you for a thought provoking post.